Call Me Martha.

I don’t consider myself to be the best of housekeepers, in fact, I would go ahead and say my mantra is “if it looks clean, then it’s clean.” I’d say I’m a good tidy-upper, but not so much a great deep cleaner. Let alone regular cleaner. I’ll vacuum, I’ll dust, and if absolutely necessary, I’ll wash a floor without using my wet Swiffer. And if it’s dusted, it’s not washed. I never clean in a logical way that leaves the whole house feeling “done.” I’m all about the convenience cleaners, like Magic Eraser, Clorox wipes and those toilet wands. I own a mop bucket, but haven’t used it since we lived in Boston. Now it just holds cleaning stuff. Stuff I don’t use all that often.

But when you move into someone else’s home, you learn that your cleaning methods, while lazy and not exemplary, are basically at Martha Stewart levels compared to the previous owner’s. Who owned a cat.  And that makes me sad. It also makes my back hurt from leaning over kitchen counters and wiping down backsplash. Here’s a little PSA: Wipe down your damn backsplash, people. It’s gross. Wipe down the handles on your appliances, people. It’s gross for someone else to ponder just how dirty your hands had to have been in order to create such an insane amount of grime. And on that note: Wash your hands, people. That’s just basic manners. I’m sure Colin is learning that at school. If a two year old can do it, then you can do it, too.

So yesterday I spent Colin’s nap wiping down backsplash and appliance fronts and about one million drawers. I am sure I will come to appreciate the drawer and cabinet space we have in our kitchen. Eventually.  Maybe after my back stops spasm-ing.  I placed some cute drawer liners from Target once they were all Cloroxy clean. (My new mantra: If it doesn’t smell like bleach, it ain’t clean.) The liners are obviously adorable with their greige stripes, but the liner is also a nice thick foam, so it’s cushion-y and will help prevent things from sliding all over the place.  And I can’t say I terribly mind the new kitchen mat I picked up as well. It screams fall without saying “Boo!” know what I mean? Yes, you know what I mean.  And before you ask, no, glittered ghost pails for Halloween candy from the dollar section *don’t* count. They are adorable and necessary. IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN. 😉


4 thoughts on “Call Me Martha.

  1. We hired a cleaning crew to do a deep clean when we moved into our house….SO worth it! I highly recommend it – plus, you should be resting and eating bon bond…duh!

    • Sister, you know I would! If we could afford it. But since the locksmith came yesterday and charged literally $1,000 more than they quoted us, our new house budget is quickly shrinking….shrinking….shrinking! Sadsies. The whole house getting painted is higher on priorities, since I really can’t do that preggo. Nor would I want to. Hate painting. Hate cleaning, too. But hate painting more.

  2. congrats on your new house! I think the grime is worse when you see it as “yours” because my mom came to help me clean our new house and she said it was actually pretty clean… and now that I think back on it it really wasn’t that bad. Also, when I was cleaning my old house for the walk-through, I was appalled at what I saw when I took all the silverware out of the drawer. But I do wipe down the appliances every night when I clean the kitchen and apparently most people.. do… not.

    • Haha! No, I am sure she was a very hygienic lady, but maybe 20 years of grime do add up after a bit. I don’t love cleaning up after other people- I barely like cleaning up after my own little family. Which is why I don’t do it very well, or very often. 😉

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