Momjury (n.)

If only I could Instagram my immune system. Instagram makes everything better.

Momjury (n.) meaning:

1. Stepping on a matchbox car resulting in a deep cut on the arch of your foot. Treating said injury with a Curious George band-aid. Because you no longer own plain jane band-aids. What fun would that be?

2. Becoming a human Kleenex as your child wipes his snotty nose all over your person. Or wet coughs on you from the backseat. And you can feel the back of your head is wet with contagious spittle. Result: coming down with said cold yourself.

3. Gray Hair. Well really, this is merely insult to momjury.

So yeah, we’re sick here. Which is a shame- we had such a nice time visiting with Shannon and Gabe and John. In fact, I think I blame our awesome trip to the beach. In Maine. At sundown. In 50 degree weather. Sorry ’bout that.

I actually had to call Colin in sick to school yesterday. Which is cool. It’s only about $432 per day. And since Wednesday is Yom Kippur, school doesn’t resume until Friday. Plenty of time to get rid of the green stuff coming out his nose. I hope. And maybe enough time to teach him to cover his mouth when he coughs on me? Yesterday, we spent the day wiping each other’s noses, watching Pixar movies and generally being gross. It’s really amazing how much time there is in the day when you forgo a shower and any and all responsibilities. Like buying groceries. And, like, showering. But when you’re sick, it’s all the excuse you need to eat ice cream and sit in your own filth all day long, right? Or am I not supposed to do that now that I have a kid? Whatever. I’m sick. Leave me alone. 😉

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