A couple of weeks ago, Colin and I made the rookie mistake of stepping foot into a Barnes and Noble. This never ends well, you see, because most stores have a Thomas the Tank Engine play table set up and my son evidently is studying the fine art of shoplifting. When his plan goes awry, we hastily make our exit and I laugh off the pitying glances from other toddler mothers.
Luckily, or unluckily, depending on your point of view, this particular store did not have a train table. They did however, have Sesame Street characters. Like this guy:
Colin loves himself a Cookie Monster. If you a parent who diapers your child in Pampers, you may have used the old trick of “Who do you want to wear today?” to get your child to lay still for 15 seconds in order to change his personal landfill. We know Elmo and we know Cookie. We could care less about Grover, which pains me to no end. And Oscar who?
So we snatched up that Cookie monster and Colin left the store without an ear curdling scream. As we were getting into the car, I asked Colin if we should buy some cookies to feed to Cookie. He responded with an enthusiastic “Yes!”
Now let me just tell you a little something about my pantry. I am unable to keep delicious items like cookies in my home because I have no willpower to not sit down every.single.night and eat an entire bag of Oreos. Or Chips Ahoy. I can’t stop myself. So we don’t keep them in the house.
However, the other day we were at Trader Joe’s and I just had to have me some cookies. So I picked up a tub (yes, a TUB. WHAT?!?) and looked forward to a night of Greys Anatomy with a side of chocolate chip goodness. I packed them away in the pantry.
A few hours later, Colin comes over to me and hands me the entire tub of cookies.
“Hmm, okay sweetie. You can have one cookie. Here you go.”
“Fine then. Mommy will eat it.” (Do you see why I need to instill a strict no-cookie/easy-mac/pizza rule in my home?)
“Colin, do you want the cookie or not?”
At this point, my toddler just walked away from me, clearly disappointed that my doltery has failed him again.
Instead, he decided to climb all the way upstairs unassisted. I caught him at the top. I’m a good mom like that.
“Cookie!” Pointing to his crib, stuffed Cookie Monster lays despondent.
“Colin, did you want to feed Cookie some cookies?”
And so, we fed the monster.
Please don’t call the muppet equivalent of CPS. I didn’t know you actually needed to feed Cookie Monster. I’ll be better now.