Even though I knew it would happen, I wasn’t expecting it.
Colin got THE SICKNESS while at Daycare. He also picked up a couple of other nasty habits like hitting other children and learning the word “MINE.” Oh, and the new and unimproved machine gun laugh that apparently the cool kid at daycare must do. Kill me now. We pulled him out as soon as I got the OK from the doctor. Which is naturally when Kase came down with the sickness.
Being the sympathetic wife that I am, I told him that perhaps if his diet was better and he got more sleep, he might not have succumbed. And then I may or may not have laughed like Nelson from the Simpsons. I’m such a good wife.
This past weekend, we went away to celebrate Mother’s Day with Kase’s mom and then my family down in NJ. We were excited to cap off the trip with an overnight stay in NYC on Sunday night. We had big plans to hit up Central Park and the zoo, and to eat our faces off. Of course, as we pulled into the valet, my glands spontaneously swelled up. It’s cool. I didn’t need to swallow anyway. Where should we eat?!
We ordered in room service and went to bed at 8:30 that night. Good times.
Oh, I’m sorry. I did leave the room briefly to go to the Times Square Duane Reade for medicine and whole milk.
The next day, I allowed Colin to run wild around our hotel suite, pulling the toilet paper from the roll and running around the room. I’m so laid back. And also? Sick. Do your worst. Just let me lie here in bed.
And then? My child pulled out the drain of the BIDET. AND LICKED IT.
I almost vomited. Can’t imagine why.
He miraculously recovered from the sickness. I don’t want to know why.
Of course, we arrived home and picked up the dog at daycare yesterday.
This morning, he puked on our bed.
This is real life.