Happy Monday! We managed to survive St. Patrick’s Day festivities, late bedtimes, car rides and a trip to the duck pond this weekend, sans Pacifier. Mind you, I did not say sans Tantrums. But we did survive those tantrums without a paci. People, I think this crazy plan might just work.
As I discussed earlier, Thursday night I took a safety pin (it’s what I had. Don’t judge me. Everything was sanitized. Not that I should have to explain that….) and sabotage the three remaining pacifiers. As I held them, I have to be honest. I decided my pin hole pricking wasn’t doing much more than my child’s chompers already had. That thing was already compromised. But I’m a rules follower. And the little online pamphlet told me at this point my child would only tolerate pin hole pricks. So prick away I did.
As I gave the paci to Colin that night, he didn’t seem any the wiser. Sucking away. Happy as can be. Naturally, I went downstairs after turning the lights out and furiously poked more holes in the remaining pacifiers not in use. That’ll teach him to enjoy a Janky Paci.
On Friday night, he didn’t seem as happy with his new “now 50% more holes!” pacifier. He took it to bed, but upon waking in the middle of the night, quickly discarded it as a soothing tool. Fine by me. So long as he went to bed. And he did. Miracle? Maybe, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. St. Patrick’s Day was the next day and we were headed to Foxboro for children’s activities and games. Which translates in ParentLand to “Mayhem and Tantrums.” You can look that up in the Parent Dictionary, which you receive upon discharge from the Labor and Delivery.
At Foxboro, we freed the despot from the confines of his stroller to play with the sidewalk chalk with some other kiddos. We chose this activity for the simple fact that it was down a dead-end walkway. Which means we had a little bit of control as to his wild running about. Especially if Kase and I formed a human chain link fence. Of course, we knew as we took him from the stroller that we were bound to meet a tantrum when replacing him. The things we parents do for our children. By which I mean: elevated blood pressure for 30-45 minute periods of time when anticipating tantrums. I had the sabotaged paci at the ready. Sure enough, Colin wasn’t happy to go back to his stroller, and he was even more pissed when I pried the sidewalk chalk from his vise-like grip. More than that, he was none too happy with janked up paci. He didn’t take it to calm down. The kid managed to calm down on his own. Not immediately, but he calmed down. We had a great dinner, and even after a late bedtime due to the first annual St. Patrick’s Day Dance Party (in our kitchen), paci was taken, but merely played with.
On Sunday, I took the remaining pacifiers and continued onto step two of the sabotage plan which entailed snipping the very tips off the ends. So much catharsis can be accomplished with scissors, don’t you think? We were also scheduled to travel out to Western Massachusetts to visit with family and friends. Colin napped for 15 minutes in the car, but decided that was enough. So by 11am, I knew the day was going to be a disaster. And it was. I love being right. Wait…..
We had a nice lunch and then headed to a large park to see the ducks. On our way to the park, across the greatest expanse known to man, we encountered no fewer that 1, 374 balls- soccer, basketball, croquet, you name it. “No Colin! That is not yours!” Colin “tebows” and begins the curled lip cry. Repeat. The whole way to the ducks.
We get to the ducks where we can take a nice staircase to the pond, or we can scoot down the adjoining hill on our butts squealing “WHEEEE!” like the Geico Pig. Naturally, Colin chose option number 2. But then he tried to catapult himself into the pond. Because? I don’t know. Maybe he thought it was bath time. We restrain him. Oh God. Holy Terror. I now understand fully why parents put their children on leashes. Kase and I are seriously considering buying one. That walk to the car was the worst four minutes of my weekend. Hand him Janki Paci. Receive a Janki Paci to the face. Repeat. The whole way home.
Naturally, he was in a great mood to take a nap. Without a pacifier. NOT. The foaming at the mouth tipped me off. So we let him run around grammie’s house, where he dropped a can of soup on his foot and split open his toe. OF COURSE.
At this point, we gave up on the Janki Paci. He calmed down, which isn’t strange when he self inflicts pain. We decided to put him back down for a nap, sans paci. Off he went. Last night, we put him to bed, no paci. Gave him the paci at 1am when he woke, he gave me a major side eye and threw it from the crib. I rocked him to sleep. Down he went. Slept till 8am, too.
I am hesitant to say we are paci free, but I think we are well on our way. And it took us two steps out of the four. Paci Sabotage may just work. Now, maybe we can try to wean him off of tantrums. Any ideas? Bueller? Bueller?
PS: If you are interested in the Bye-Bye-Binky.Com PDF, follow this link.