Funny thing. Have you seen this? 100’s of people sent to the hospital in Boston?! Why didn’t anyone post this on Facebook!? You know that’s how I get my news!
Though truthfully, I probably wouldn’t have given it much thought. Cuz here’s the deal. My son and I? We are virtually hermits. Really. That is not an exaggeration. I only just re-joined a Gymboree class because *I* need socialization. Oh and my kid is pretty much wrecking havoc on the house. I’ll happily pay $89 per month for him to ruin someone else’s carpet and draw on someone else’s furniture. Mostly cuz I’m lazy and tired of washing my slipcovers. Not to mention, the other class we attempted to go to fell right during nap time, so for the past month and half, we have been living in a hermetically sealed home, free from stranger danger. Stanger danger in this case being germs. But last week, we went to Gymboree, which will hereby be known as Contagion.
Have you seen Contagion? Then you’ll know why I now cast a wary glance at the unwashed masses. Cuz they’re sickly and they like to touch things and cough on people. And just look! I was right. We leave the house, we interact with the germ infested population, and BAM! We get taken down like Gwyneth Paltrow. In similar fashion, too. Colin was totally the Chinese dude on the subway. A goner. He never had a chance.
I notice my little coworker was having some ahem, digestion issues. From the mouth, not the bad end. But then it briefly moved to the bad end. And then there was a fever. He wasn’t really eating, per se. And still, I figured there wasn’t much to make of it. A little spit up here, a little 100 degree fever that had him sleeping for 14 hours? What’s to sweat? I was receiving a well deserved break from things like feeding him and tending to him. Sweet. (and cue CPS…)
Moving along, Kase and I were all pumped to hit the road Saturday and take a little ski weekend up in Vermont with some friends. A three hour car ride later, I wasn’t sure if it was the McDonald’s breakfast (more than likely) or riding passenger induced queasiness, but upon our arrival, Mama needed a nap. I awoke some two hours later not feeling so hot. Well actually, I felt hot in some places and cold in others. I figured it was just a nap hangover, which I get often and frequently, what with the amount of naps I manage to sneak here and there. In fact, I have banned myself from midday naps for precisely that reason. But I still can’t help myself. When a nap is calling its siren song, I am helpless to fight it. So even though I was feeling a little bit off, I decided to get my act together and go out into the world, not that our motel quality accommodations weren’t swoon worthy. But the slopes were calling us. Or at least the lodge was calling us. For drinks and banter. You know how it is.
Actually, scratch that. As I got outside in the fresh mountain air, I decided the toilet was actually calling my name. And how. Two flights up, and one very close malfunctioning key card call later, it was in that beautiful slopeside room that I parted with my bacon egg and cheese biscuit with side of orange juice. And then I crawled under the scratchy motel blanket and proceeded to sleep for 18 hours.
So I was out. And then like the good wife I am, I took my husband out. We paid $400 to lay in a motel bed and work our way through the sickness.
On the upside, roughly 24 hours later I was dreaming about chocolate cake. I knew I was ready to eat again. Nothing like chocolate cake to show that virus what’s what. I’m sure that’s what Gwyneth would have done. If she survived. Which just proves a point: don’t cheat on your husband. Wait, what? What was the point of that movie, anyway? Oh yeah. The government is evil. Or was it drug companies are evil? Gambling in China is evil? No, I remember now. It was a message that you should always wash your hands after chopping down trees in the rainforest. Right?
I think I need to go lie down.