Work it.

Sooo, I went shopping this weekend. That was a bummer.

Since the despot was born, and even slightly before, if I’m being honest (since I was working from home), my shopping trips consisted of this short circuit: Target, Loft, Target, Old Navy, Target, Gap. And repeat. What do all of these places have in common? They are cheap. And they all sell yoga pants. I’m not kidding. If I could live in yoga pants, I would.

And then I got to thinking, “Why Can’t I?!” I’m my own boss, damnit. I ain’t got no dress code. But I have to be honest. Wearing a five year old Old Navy sweatshirt with holes in it may be comfy, but it sure as hell ain’t cute. It has a certain vintage fading. And it didn’t come that way. And while I understand girls these days pay EXTRA for their clothes to look raggedy ass, it’s a whole different story when you know your clothes are just raggedy cuz they are OLD. Like you.

So while I felt sloppy and gross, I knew that the yoga pants were not going anywhere. Let’s not be rash. And if I’m being honest? I think I look a hell of a lot skinnier in my yoga pants than I do in my skinny jeans. And I like that they don’t slip down and show my crack all the time. Not only that, but I find that if I get in my workout clothes first thing after getting out of bed in the morning (sometimes, even, after taking a shower!), I have a 57% greater chance of getting on the treadmill before I head back to bed that night. Yup, 57%. I did the math. Don’t ask me how. Anyway, clearly, they are the winner.

Time to throw a little money at the problem, is what I say!

Let’s break it down, shall we? First up, we got my favorite workout pants, and these puppies won’t cost you a pretty penny. They are Old Navy Foldover yoga pants and they clock in at $19. Not much else to say. Oh, wait. The foldover band acts like a SPANX of sorts to tame my belly fat. And magically, my thighs don’t touch when I wear these. There.

To top them off, get yourself over to Victoria’s Secret, where I have discovered a day late and a dollar short that they carry the most comfortable pullover I have ever felt in my 30 years of life. The Half Zip Pullover. It was one of their only items of the Pink Line that wasn’t bedazzled. Color me shocked. When I checked out the tag, I was a little peeved.  Do you *really* think I would pay $44.50 for a SWEATSHIRT, VICKY? REALLY?. Target has them for like $20. Get over yourself, skank. I said this all while I stroked the softest sweatshirt in the world and reasoned that the price per wear made it about $.006 cents. IN REALITY. And then I proceeded to maniacally throw every size small on the floor until I located a medium.  Poor Kase was so excited to see that pink bag when I got home. Lord knows why. He shoulda known I’d pull out a sweatshirt and act as though I’d won the lottery. Who goes to Victoria’s Secret two weeks before Valentine’s Day and buys a sweatshirt? ME! THAT’S WHO!

Now, let’s drive to DSW, shall we? I got a version of these cute street sneaks a couple of summers ago when I was preggers, but they resemble these New Balance 442’s. So step out of the smelly Reeboks and put these on when you are heading out the door. Then it at least looks like you care. At least, that’s how I reason in my head. “Look! These aren’t *real* running sneakers!  They’re cute! Which means I had to think about my outfit today, REGARDLESS OF HOW IT LOOKS!”

Okay folks. It’s about to get real.Real expensive. In my humble opinion, you can wear a trash bag for your outfit if you have a nice handbag to go with it. And this is the bag I want, people. Marc Jacobs Hillier Bag. True story: I spotted this bag on my new favorite sitcom, “Happy Endings”. And I promptly put it on my wish list. But seriously: a cross body type bag is a must for a mom who carries her son to and fro and is sick of losing her purse every time she picks him up.

And hey, maybe if my husband buys it for me, I’ll head back to Victoria’s Secret and NOT buy a sweatshirt. No promises, though. Let’s not get crazy.

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14 thoughts on “Work it.

  1. haha kate. You make me laugh with just about every post of yours. The pink bag and buying a sweatshirt. That is so me! Having a little one myself (I think about the same age as yours) I can totally relate to wearing sweats all day. I am still in my PJ’s as I write this. I haven’t bought new clothes since before I was pregnant. Well that is a lie. This past weekend I bought a t-shirt. Wow a T-shirt…BUT it was a “fancy” one from The Loft and it cost about $20 which to me is too much for a T-shirt but I bought it anyway.

    I can’t remember how I found your blog but it was right before you moved away from Boston. I always find it kind of weird and creepy when I find blogs where I connect so well with the writer and think I should be friends with that person.

  2. Lesley,

    You’d be surprised- I’ve made real life actual friends through blogging! And good thing, too. They are a lot funnier and smarter than my real life friends. Only slightly kidding. I like making friends through the blog because I can make them while not wearing makeup, donning yoga pants and my new sweatshirt, which I may or may not have taken off since buying it. I figure if I spray myself enough with Febreze no one is the wiser.
    K

  3. Not that all your posts aren’t hilar, but this one I really connected with (along with crack up, as usual). I truly LIVE in yoga pants. (I don’t practice yoga) I wore my Old Navy maternity yoga crops probably everyday of my third trimester. And now I dread having to “dress up” and wear jeans!

    • Kat,

      My hope is that with babies as cute as ours (and Bandon is giving Colin a run for his money, you bitch) that no one is *really* paying attention to me, or what I am wearing, or the fact that I haven’t showered, at all.

      • Great work!!!! I love Old Navy jeans and that’s the best part, that they are alfordabfe so you can just snatch up a new pair when your size changes.

  4. Just the post that I needed to read. I had a baby two weeks ago and have been living in pajama bottoms for the past two months- not in public – I wear the yoga pants, ratty sweatshirt, and old sneakers in public. Was just thinking yesterday how it is time to update the outfit a bit. Thanks!

    • I’ve worn pajama bottoms in public (internationally, even, as I was flying to Costa Rica). Is that a no no? If so, disregard everything you read on this blog that is even slightly fashion related. I am clearly beyond help;)

  5. I was unaware that wearing yoga pants every day was not the norm. We are basically animal tamers, we need to be comfy and agile and whatnot. I did just drop 60 bucks on a pair of jeans from macys, which is like the most I’ve ever paid for jeans b/c my rotation is your rotation. I bought them without trying them on because I had a pair before and liked em. Oh and because, as you know, trying things on in a store is no longer a luxury we can afford. Anyway, they called em bootcut but they were straight up big bell bottoms. I feel like I’m sashaying around my house in them making woooooshing noises.

    btdubs, i will happily vouch for you in case you are meeting other internet blog friends…so they know you’re not going to wrap them in plastic sheets and put them on ice…that sort of thing.

  6. Shit, I meant to mention this in my comment. I noticed you changed up the blog a bit and here’s my iss-shue…there doesn’t seem to be a “home” link anywhere? Like if I’m on this here comment page and I want to go back to diddntitellyouthat.com to read more, I have to go back and click my blog again. Or am I missing it somewhere? Tell me to go straight to hell if I did.

    • Shan,
      As you know, I only harvest organs for the black-market. I’m not Dexter. Most people are just dandy with one kidney and a slice of liver- less. Shiiiiiit!
      As for the blog issues, until I have as large of a following as you, I will need to deal with wordpress crappy themes and I *suppose* learn how to use them properly. I think it’s fixed now? When I make it big-time like you, maybe I’ll throw some money at the problem, but right now, that cash is earmarked for yoga pants. You understand.

      • Let’s talk about me getting a new follower yesterday and getting really excited because it was at an even number. Then last night I lost one. Womp Wommmmmp. Don’t these people know that my number of followers ties directly to my level of self esteem? Effers.

        Meanwhile, you totes fixed it and it’s fantastic.

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