Before and After [kids, that is]

(I would like to dedicate this post to my good friends Jason and Shadia)

Given that it is the weekend, let’s let our minds expand and ponder an important philosophical query: how does one reconcile Pottery Barn with Fisher Price?

The answer: You don’t. Fisher Price doesn’t do reconciliation. Like Columbus “discovering” America, the primary colored plastic stakes its claim, slowly but surely taking over like a parasite.  There is no such thing as incorporation. Don’t bother to question it. Just accept it and hope the smallpox doesn’t kill you, friends.  I wish someone had told me this when I was pregnant and planning Colin’s nursery. Instead, they found laughing at me to be the most helpful feedback.

The historic period known as "B.C.: Before Colin"

Stop laughing!  So what if everything is white!?  It looks so clean and fresh! Like a baby!  And it’s washable.  Which is awesome, since the day we brought the little Mr. home, he had explosive diarrhea from the changing table which hit the chair. Yes, it was airborne.  It’s called being a parent.  Deal with it.  That’s why God invented slip covers. Or was that Crate and Barrel? Chicken or the egg, cart or horse- who knows.

Well, the white has held up well (take that!). The decor, not so much.  It’s like a Toys R Us exploded in there.

The historic period known as "My life is no longer my own"

I think the rubber play mat really adds a certain something, don’t you? Or what about the black pack and play that is there simply because we don’t want to take it apart and it is currently housing 18,000 stuffed animals?  It totally goes with the aesthetic.

Oh, but my tiny tyrant’s influence doesn’t end there.  Oh no.  Are your eyes burning yet? No? Then take a gander:

The Living Room, now with more playmat!

Yup, don’t you worry- that $80 we spent on rubber squares?  Well worth it, as we have enough to put down two different playmats throughout the house.  Which is awesome, since the little Mr. is way advanced and lays on his back all day long. You need $80 rubber play mats for that.  You didn’t know? Amateur.  And I like to keep the cabinet doors open since we own about 18 rattles and he tires of them all quickly- I must have backups at the ready.  He is also a big reader- so it is essential he have a couple of bookshelves to himself. 4-page long board books take up a surprising amount of space. What they lack in plot…..

So yes, this could be your future.  My suggestion (not that you asked)? Order a comfy couch, but skip the coffee table. And buy some dimmer switches for your Par 20 Halogen pot lights.  Oh, and do yourself a favor:  register for a playmat.

2 thoughts on “Before and After [kids, that is]

  1. Hahahaha awesome and totally totally true. I should take pictures of my house right this moment…it’s like the Baby Einstein factory exploded. Oh I have a little boy? If I wasn’t sure before, the 17 plastic trucks he got for Christmas sure convinced me!

    ANd hi! Thanks for visiting my blog and linking it up, that’s so awesome of you. Off to stalk up on the rest of your blog 🙂

  2. First, thank you for dedicating this blog post to us. If you ask me, I would have dedicated to baby Jacob :p.

    Anyway, we measured the room, and none of the furniture that we want will fit the way we want it to fit. boooo. But your blog post gives us hope.

    We are really gonna miss you guys :(. But we will always be your DC fam. You will be our +3.

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